So I was driving along with my best friend in the passenger seat next to me. Suddenly the car in front of me skidded on ice and I had to emergency brake. Before I knew it my hand was across my friend to stop her from flying forwards She looked at me and told me she couldn’t believe that my first thought would be to save her. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that, as a pizza delivery driver, I have developed a reflex action to stop the pizzas flying off the seat whenever I emergency brake.
(Source: laughingisbetter, via webkinzmillionaire)

mylustfulpassionsandpleasures:
LOLPraise the Lord
Lol
(Source: steppfred, via mistakesmakelifeworthliving)
Whenever I get period cramps
I have never seen something so accurate in all my life…
do periods really hurt? In 5th grade sex ed, we learned that it didn’t hurt.
Did that teacher get fired?
Did they even have a uterus?
(via jackstroubleinatanktop)
Sunday Night- Mat Kerekes (Citizen)
I would sing you to sleep if you would lay with me like you use to.
And if the street lights help you so you can finally see,
Well would you sing along with me?
And I would find the words, but I just seem to choke.
I’m always reminded of what I broke so I quit keeping track.
I’m done with that.
So I went out and sang some songs I had,
To remind myself that it’s not so bad.
I guess it’s not so bad.
-
(Source: rottento-theecore, via alwaysisvalueless-)